


Bunny

by Run_of_the_mill



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Everything is WRONG!!, M/M, Peter Pettigrew is Horrible, Tom Riddle is Harry's godfather, Tom Riddle is friends with the Marauder, Tom and Harry are in love, Tom loses hope, Tom might be hallucinating, everyone hates umbridge, everything is horrible, everything is weird, rat gut christmas garland, something weird is happening, this is a christmas story!
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-30
Updated: 2019-11-30
Packaged: 2021-02-26 01:13:46
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,805
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21615121
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Run_of_the_mill/pseuds/Run_of_the_mill
Summary: Harry is so sweet.Harry is so stubborn.Harry is Tom's little Bunny, his godson.Harry almost dies.Harry is on life support.Wake up. Wake UP. WAKE UP, YOU TWAT!Harry and Tom are in love and Umbridge can suck an egg. She can suck all the eggs.
Relationships: Harry Potter/Tom Riddle, Harry Potter/Tom Riddle | Voldemort, Harry Potter/Voldemort
Comments: 19
Kudos: 241





	Bunny

**Author's Note:**

> I think this is a very confusing story. And it's very dialogue heavy. But I wrote this instead of studying. T-T Enjoy
> 
> Edit: XD Every comment so far has been about how you guys are confused. So, I'm going to give you a reading guide:
> 
> Whatever you're reading, understand that Tom is experiencing it in exactly the same order. There are NO time skips. When a jump happens from one scene to the next, there's NOTHING happening in between. If Tom is sitting in a kitchen in one scene and he's in a hospital in the next scene, there is nothing that has happened between these two scenes. I hope this helps you understand what's happening.

Tom had been in bed with his girlfriend when it happened. It started with an insistent knocking on his front door that he ignored in favor of… more pleasurable activities. But, even after five minutes had passed, the knocking did not stop. It threw Tom off his rhythm and, regrettably, he began to soften. It greatly soured Bella’s mood.

“Just go see who it is,” said Bella, pouting.

“No, _fuck_ ,” hissed Tom. “I know who it is, and it is _way_ too late at night for me to be bothered. I’ve got better things to be doing, for fuck’s sake.” He leaned down to nip at her collarbone, causing her to giggle and wrap her legs around him more tightly. But, of course, the universe was aligned against Tom getting laid that night.

“ _Old_ _man_!” screamed the _Kid_. “I know you’re in there! I can see the lights from outside. Open the _fucking_ door!” Tom took a deep breath and tried snogging Bella. Maybe that would get him back in the mood. “Open the dooooor! Open the door, or I swear to Merlin, I’ll blast it wide the fuck open! If you’re naked in there, I’mma take pictures and post it to all my social media. Don’t try me, old man!”

“Excuse me,” said Tom, through gritted teeth. He got up and pulled on his underwear and a T-shirt. Bella was full-on giggling at this point. “Har-dee-har. I’m dying of laughter.”

“You have to admit,” said Bella, “it’s fucking hilarious. Why would you give a student your home address?”

“He’s James’ kid,” said Tom. “He knew where I lived before he could even toddle, the little bastard. Do you know how many times I’ve babysat him?”

“Wait,” said Bella, sitting up and looking vaguely alarmed. “That’s the Potter kid?”

“Yeah,” said Tom. What other kid did she expect would be knocking at his door at this hour? Only Harry was daft and downright crazy enough to pull shite like this.

“Oh, I need to go,” said Bella, turning pale. Tom frowned at her as she got up and dressed in a hurry. She was out the floo before he even had the time to get a question in sideways. The hell? What was up with _her_?

“OLD MAN!” Oh, fuck it. Tom would ask later. He had more pressing issues to deal with. He absolutely did not want to explain to yet another contractor why his door was blasted in. Damn the Ministry and its revision of the underage magic law. When Tom was a kid, underage magicals weren’t allowed _any_ magic outside of Hogwarts, period. But ever since Thicknesse had gotten into power, the kids were allowed to do whatever spells they had performed exceedingly well during their end of year exams. Something about being able to protect themselves from predators and such. Very real problem. Still… Fuck everything.

“Once again,” said Tom, yanking his door open, “you are _not_ allowed to use goddamn _bombarda_ outside of school, Harry. I know the Ministry has grown lax recently, but Sirius won’t be able to cover your crap every single time. He’s bound to get caught at some point. Are you _trying_ to get him fired?”

“I wasn’t gonna use _bombarda_ ,” said Harry, sullenly. Behind him, one of Tom’s decorative boulders dropped back into place with a _thud_. Right. Tom had forgotten how creative Harry could get. “Besides, who the fuck is going to fire Sirius? He just got promoted to Head Auror, last week.”

“Fuck my life,” said Tom. “As if you weren’t untouchable enough, already. Come in, then.” Harry didn’t have to be told twice. He pushed past Tom and went straight to the cupboard that held all the sweets that Tom bought for this specific purpose. Tom watched him sort through the supply until he reached the M&M’s. No peanuts because Harry hated M&M’s with peanuts even though Tom absolutely loved them. What can you do? Children changed everything around them.

“So?” asked Tom even as Harry began to rip through a few bags of M&M’s and tip them into a large glass bowl. Oh, this was bad. “What did daddy do this time?”

“Wasn’t daddy,” said Harry, making his way to Tom’s living room. He dropped down on the sofa and turned on the mirrorvision. Some old soap opera was playing, and Harry watched it blankly. Tom was beginning to get really worried. Harry never watched anything that wasn’t comedy or Quidditch related.

“Bunny,” said Tom, pulling the M&M bowl out of Harry’s grasp. He’d been steadily eating only the red ones, which he only did when he was very upset. “What’s wrong? Tell Uncle Tom, yeah?”

“I got picked up by Puddlemere,” said Harry. “Mostly as a substitute seeker. But I’m better than the one on the current line-up. Pretty sure they’ll let me be in the starting line-up when they realise that.”

“Ok, confidence,” chuckled Tom. “But why’s that got you in a bad mood? It sounds like a good thing to me.”

“It _is,_ ” said Harry. “It’s effing _great_. But… Mum said no.”

“Wait,” said Tom, “ _what?_ ”

“Right?” said Harry, sitting up and waving excitedly. “This is like- like- like the _best thing ever!_ And Mum says I can’t because I’d hafta drop out of school.”

“Why would you drop out of school?” asked Tom, alarmed. He wasn’t Harry’s father. In fact, he was Harry’s cool uncle, and even _he_ was firmly against Harry dropping out.

“It’s _normal_ for athletes,” insisted Harry. “I need to start playing _now_ if I ever want to have a fruitful career. Most athletes retire like- like _ten_ years before they reach _your_ age, Uncle Tom.” Tom briefly registered some sort of vague offense at the quip towards his age. But, really, his mind was racing at the idea of Harry dropping out of school to pursue Quidditch. His academic’s brain was screaming and screeching at the very _idea_ of an incomplete education for _anyone_ , let alone his little Bunny Harry. But, realistically, he knew that athletes had to start young in order to be able to make the most out of their careers. Most, he knew, retired around ages thirty to, _at best,_ forty-five. Harry was now sixteen, the age where athletes usually started going professional.

“What does James say?” asked Tom, after a long moment of deliberation.

“Daddy says nothing,” said Harry. “When it comes to school, he says he’s too much of a Chad to make significant decisions. So, Mum gets to decide.”

“The hell is a Chad?” asked Tom, frowning in confusion.

“It’s slang,” explained Harry. “For Mr. Fratboi par excellence.”

“Oh, yeah,” nodded Tom. “That _is_ your Dad. He’s right that he shouldn’t be making any decisions when it comes to your education.”

“So, you agree with Mum?” asked Harry, sounding so betrayed.

“No, Bunny, no,” assured Tom. He patted Harry’s head and took a moment to think things through. “I’m gonna need to speak to your Mum, I think.” Harry made a face at that.

“ _Or,_ ” he said, “I could just move in with you?”

“No,” said Tom, automatically. They had this conversation every time Harry was mad at his parents. Tom was fairly certain that the boy tended to alternate between asking him and asking Sirius. It was a miracle that Sirius had held out for so long. Tom knew he was sorely tempted to squirrel Harry away from Lily, who he considered a buzzkill of the highest order.

“I’ll end up convincing you, someday,” snapped Harry. “You can’t hold out forever.”

“I have a girlfriend, Harry,” said Tom. “And I’m thirty-five. It’s about time I get married. I can’t be having a roommate _now_.”

“Who’s your girlfriend?” asked Harry. He looked miffed. Like he wasn’t happy that Tom had a significant other. Tom tried not to be hurt by that because… Because… Because kids were jealous and didn’t like to share. Tom was supposed to be Harry’s cool uncle. It was going to be hard for him to reconcile Uncle Tom with Uncle Tom who had a Girlfriend. Tom wasn’t looking forward to having one of his own.

“Bella Black,” said Tom. Harry’s face did a funny little thing that Tom didn’t understand. “I’ll introduce you over the winter Hols. Let’s go speak to your Mum, yeah?”

“Yeah,” said Harry, slowly.

***

“We need to think about this rationally,” said Tom. They were sitting in Lily’s kitchen, around her kitchen island. Harry was pouting on one of Tom’s sides and Lily was frowning across from them.

“There is _no way_ ,” said Lily, calmly, “that I’m allowing him to drop out of school. He’s only got another year and a half, Tom. Puddlemere can wait.”

“No, they _can’t_ ,” argued Harry. He jumped up and his arms began that I’m-over-excited dance that they did. “I’m not the only Seeker they’ve had their eye on. What if they pick up Diggory?” Here, he paused to gasp. “What if they pick up _Malfoy_?”

“That is beyond ridiculous, Harry,” said Lily, rolling her eyes. “I know for a fact that the Diggory boy has been preparing for a career in Healing and Malfoy is nowhere _near_ skilled enough to play professional.”

“Well—”

“Harry, this discussion is over,” said Lily. “You’re _not_ dropping out of Hogwarts. Puddlemere is either going to wait or forfeit you to another team when you graduate.” She crossed her arm in the universal mum-speak for ‘This is final’.

“I _hate_ you,” screamed Harry. He stormed off and, a few moments later, Tom heard a door slam.

“That went great,” said Tom. Lily turned a scathing glare on him. Harry may look more like James, but he was his mother’s son, alright. “Look, all I’m saying is that this is a once in a lifetime chance for him. I don’t really see what _Harry,_ in particular, is getting out of finishing his education. If it’s people like you and me, then 100%. Finish school. Our goal was academia and Healing. What in tarnation do you think is going to happen, exactly, if you force Harry to complete his NEWTs?”

“What if something happens and he has to retire early?” asked Lily. “What if— what if he breaks his hip or his leg or his arm and— and he can never play again?”

“Then, he can go the fuck back to school,” said Tom. “You don’t _have_ to have finished school by the time you turn eighteen, you know? He can go back to school even when he’s— I dunno— forty-five or something.”

“You’re being reasonable, you asshole,” complained Lily. Yep, Harry’s Mum alright. “I just don’t want him to regret anything. And it’s not like James and I are going to be here forever, you know? Something horrid could happen to us. Then Harry would be all alone.”

“Really warms my heart, that,” said Tom, raising an eyebrow. “I’d totally leave Harry out for the wolves to pick apart. I’m that kind of arse. Sirius and Remus too. Bunch of bastards your husband befriended.” Lily blushed in embarrassment.

“You know that’s not what I meant,” said Lily. “I’m just worried. I’m a mother.”

“I know,” said Tom, waving a hand. He felt bad for her and decided to extend a helping hand. “How’s this? I could take a break from my research and tutor him while he plays.”

“Wha— Are you serious?” asked Lily.

“Deathly,” said Tom. “It’d probably take longer for him to be ready to take his NEWTs… but he could play _and_ study. What do you think?”

“I think,” said Lily, “that Jamie is about to have his legal team draw you up an employment contract.”

“YEEEEEEES!” Tom turned around just in time to see Harry punching the air.

“I thought you’d Drama Queen’d your way to your room,” said Tom, raising an eyebrow. Harry made a face at him and ran into his mother’s arms. He made, what he called, heart fingers at Tom. Tom mimicked catching them and pressing them to his heart.

***

“Tom,” said Harry as they walked back to his home. He’d agreed to host the kid for one night. After all, he wasn’t getting laid tonight. Not with Bella’s strange behaviour. A night of comedy specials with Harry was the next best thing.

“Yep?” He turned the key and pushed the door open.

“Are you really dating Bella Black?” asked Harry. “Or is it just a casual thing?”

“I’m really dating her,” said Tom. He turned around to get a good look Harry, wondering why he was bringing this up. Harry looked like he’d just sucked on something really sour.

“I think you want to sit down,” said Harry, gesturing to the sofa. “I need to tell you something… not very nice.” Tom indulged him and sat down, eyebrows raised.

“I’m only telling ‘cause you’re my favourite Uncle, ‘kay?” said Harry. He looked uncomfortable and like he’d rather not be doing this at all. “It’s not because I’m being jealous or a brat or whatnot.”

“Kid,” said Tom, “get to the point.”

“Um, so you know how Sirius is Lord Black?” asked Harry.

“Yeah?”

“Ugh, long story short,” said Harry, “Sirius was invited to an engagement party, last week. It was Bella’s to Rodolphus Lestrange.” It took a moment for Tom process the information. When he did, he turned to Harry with a large smile on his face.

“Want to watch me dump her?” asked Tom.

“Can I have popcorn?” asked Harry.

“Definitely,” said Tom, darkly.

***

**_What are you doing? What are you_ ** **doing _? Wake up! WAKE UP!_**

***

“Come on, Bunny,” whispered Tom, holding on to the limp hand. “Don’t do this. You’re strong. You can pull though this. I know it.” He was trying to hold back the tears, but it was hard to watch Harry lie in the hospital bed, unresponsive. He was hooked to so many tubes and Tom had no idea what most of them did. Tom, himself, had barely just woken from his own coma. He was still unable to get anywhere without a wheelchair and he was on a regimen of nutrition potions and physiotherapy. Regaining movement was slow and painful but he needed to get back into shape if he was to regain custody of Harry from the accursed Dursleys.

“It’s not like they want him, either,” Sirius had explained. “But they got stuck with him on account of _you_ were also out of it.”

“Why didn’t one of you get him?” Tom had asked.

“I’m a werewolf,” Remus had said and, unfortunately, that explained everything as far as he was concerned. The MoM’s laws were really backwards when it came to werewolves. Thicknesse was a weird blend of progressive and conservative.

“I couldn’t get him because I’m Lord Black,” Sirius had huffed. “The Blacks went batshit when they heard I was going to take Harry as my ward. Cygnus fucking _blocked_ me, the arsehole. He sent an entire legal team to argue that Blacks were too mentally unstable to be caring for vulnerable kids. He called me _mental_. I’ve been under investigation, ever since, to see if I can be Harry’s guardian.”

“You should be able to get him, now,” Remus had said, eventually. “You just need to get back into shape, first.”

***

**_Why are you doing this? Why won’t you listen to me?_ **

***

Tom could move now. He’d regained most of his weight. He was back to his old job in the Department of Mysteries. And Harry was still unresponsive. The Healers were beginning to badger Tom, asking him to consider terminating the life support.

Because Harry was on life support.

_“He’s brain-dead, Mr. Riddle,” said Healer Rose. “He won’t wake again.”_

_“No way,” said Tom, shaking his head. “You’re wrong. It’s Harry. He can’t stay down.”_

Harry couldn’t stay down. Harry never stayed down. He was a bunny-animagus, for Merlin’s sake. Bunnies always bounced back. That was the superstition.

But it had been an entire year now, and Harry was still unresponsive.

Sirius had caught the guy who did it. The bastard who had injured Tom so badly, his brain had shut down for a while. The monster that had murdered Lily and James in cold blood and doomed their son to a worse fate. Peter Pettigrew.

_“I didn’t want to die,” begged Peter. “I was threatened. I was scared. You would have done the same thing if you were me.”_

_“Who the_ fuck _even threatened you?!” screamed Sirius. “You’re a bloody liar and we both know it. James caught you embezzling money from his company, you arse! Did you think I wouldn’t find out?”_

“I made you a new Christmas garland,” Tom told Harry as he wiped the boy’s body down. “Made it of dried up rat guts. You’d love it. Wake up, yeah?”

**You _wake up. Twat. Wake up. Wake UP!_**

Tom ignored the voice, as per usual. He’d started hearing it after the Event. Auditory hallucinations, the Healer had told him. They would happen, every now and then, from now on. Tom’s brain had been injured during the Event. There were some things the Healers couldn’t fix. They gave him potions to make the hallucinations less invasive. But they were never completely gone.

**_Oh my lord! You are so_ ** **stubborn _!_**

On Christmas day, Harry had not opened his eyes and even Sirius had lost hope, at this point.

“He’s gone,” said Sirius even as Harry failed to greet him back yet another time. Remus had made his peace with it a long time ago. He had simply been waiting for his friends to come to the same conclusion. Sirius had caught up and Tom just wanted to slap his hands on his ear and sing Celestina Warbeck as loud as he could so he could drown them out.

It didn’t change the truth.

Harry was gone.

***

**_“He’s coming out,” said a man. He was wearing Healers’ robes and calling out to someone. He shone a bright light into Tom’s eyes._ **

**_“Piss off!” groaned Tom. He tried to push the man away, but his arms felt like jelly. They wouldn’t move right._ **

**_“Get off of him,” ordered another man. The voice sounded familiar. “How much longer are you going to keep this crap up?”_ **

**_“As long as necessary, Harry,” said a woman. Harry? Harry was here? Of_ ** **course _Harry was here. That was why the voice had sounded so familiar. Because it was Harry. “This scenario didn’t last very long, did it? I don’t reckon it did much to help his progress.”_**

**_“You haven’t even checked!” snapped Harry._ **

**_“Alright,” relented the woman. She walked into Tom’s field of vision. “What’s your name?”_ **

**_“Tom,” said Tom._ **

**_“Your full name,” demanded the woman._ **

**_“Tom Marvolo Riddle,” answered Tom, irritated. What the fuck was happening? Where was he? And how long had Harry been up? Tom had so many questions. But the woman wasn’t done with him._ **

**_“Who’s Voldemort?” asked the woman._ **

**_“No idea,” said Tom. “That’s a horrible name. His parents are arseholes.”_ **

**_“This is progress,” said Harry, excitedly. “You’re almost there, love.” Love?_ **

**_“Who’s Harry Potter?” asked the woman, ignoring Harry’s outburst completely._ **

**_“My Bunny,” said Tom._ **

**_“You had a pet?” asked Harry, incredulously._ **

**_“No, fuck,” chuckled Tom. His mind felt leaden and he was having trouble stringing two coherent thoughts. But he worked through it. “You. You’re my Bunny. My Harry. Little baby.”_ **

**_“Baby?” repeated Harry. “Was I your_ ** **son _?”_**

**_“Friend’s son,” corrected Tom. “My godson.”_ **

**_“Oh dear,” said the woman. “Malfoy, did you fuck this up?”_ **

**_“I don’t know,” said the first man, Malfoy apparently. “I’ll have to recheck. It shouldn’t have come out this way. Fuck my life. This is what you get for trusting the old coot’s research. I should have known.”_ **

**_“Doesn’t matter,” said the woman. “We need to put him back down. Can’t have him thinking his soulmate is his goddamn kid.”_ **

**_“Yeah,” agreed Harry. “It’d be hella awkward trying to seduce him, like that. Like seducing Sirius. Yuck!”_ **

**_“’m’not sleeping with you, Bunny,” slurred Tom. “That’s rotten.”_ **

**_“Malfoy,” growled Harry, “I will kill you in your sleep.”_ **

**_“It’s not my fault,” said Malfoy. “See here? Granger fucking_ ** **misdrew _the rune. That’s why the scenario changed. It was supposed to be a forbidden romance between a tutor and his student.”_**

**_“Where the fuck did you pull that from?” asked the woman, who Tom decided he would call Granger even if she was not. “Some sort of Harlequin paperback?”_ **

**_“Maybe,” said Malfoy in a voice that dared her to challenge him._ **

**_“Whatever,” said Harry, interrupting what, Tom supposed, was about to turn into a spitting contest. “We’re putting him back under, right? Try to get it right this time, please. I really hope this is the last time.”_ **

**_“I don’t know why we can’t just kill him and get this over with,” grumbled Malfoy._ **

**_“Try it,” dared Harry. “See if your Astoria is still around the next day.”_ **

**_“My Astoria,” counted Malfoy, “isn’t a dangerous terrorist hellbent on subjugating the entire world.”_ **

**_“And I am?” snorted Tom. This had to be a dream. A really funny dream, but a dream, nonetheless. He hoped that he’d wake up soon. He needed to go give Harry a sponge bath._ **

**_“I’ll see you soon, Tom,” said Harry, placing a warm hand on Tom’s forehead. Very realistic dream. “Put him under, ‘Mione.”_ **

**_“Right,” said Granger, better known as ‘Mione. “Besides, you know why we can’t kill him. We’d have to kill Harry first. Is that really what you want.”_ **

**_“No!” said Tom. “No killing Harry, you horrid people. No one kills Harry. I’ll hang you from your own intestines. Like Peter. Like rats.”_ **

**_“He’s still murder-happy, apparently,” sighed ‘Mione._ **

**_“Try addressing that in the next dream,” said Harry._ **

**_“Yes, yes,” she sighed. “Now, move back.”_ **

***

“Tom,” said Harry. “Dude, are you okay?” Tom blinked at him. He’d suddenly stopped in the middle of the hallway and he hadn’t the faintest why.

“Mate,” said Harry, snapping his fingers under Tom’s nose. “Wanna go to the hospital wing?”

“No,” said Tom slowly. “No, I just got dazed, suddenly. Dunno why.”

“Maybe we should get it checked?” said Harry.

“Naw, it’s fine,” assured Tom. “I’m all good. Let’s go. Don’t want to be late for defense, after all.”

“Fuck Defense,” said Harry, pouting. He looked cute and Tom just _had_ to lean in to kiss the pout away.

“C’mon,” said Tom. “We really don’t want to be late.” But Harry didn’t follow. Instead, he tugged on Tom’s arm and dragged him behind one of the tapestries. It opened onto a secret passageway. Tom never ceased to wonder at Harry’s knowledge of all the snogging spots in the Castle.

“Umbridge can go suck an egg,” said Harry. “I’ve better things to do.”

Well, in all fairness, so did Tom.

**Author's Note:**

> Well, how was it?


End file.
